Stuff that Lawyers Find Funny

Given that what a lawyer finds hilarious might be a good deal different from what a normal human might think of as funny or amusing, here are two oldies but goodies:

I read this one one day on National Review Online. Regardless of your politics, this is a hoot, especially if you've ever wanted to tell someone he was incompetent. This does an exceptional job: "No Judge Ito".

And this one I'll simply post in its entirety. This was a classic One-L case, one of those things they show you when you enter law school to prove that lawyers are, in fact, just a bunch of would-be comedians.

54 F.R.D. 282

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UNITED STATES ex rel. Gerald MAYO
v.
SATAN AND HIS STAFF
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Misc. No. 5357

United States District Court

Western District of Pennsylvania

Dec. 3, 1971

Gerald Mayo, pro se.

MEMORANDUM ORDER

Weber, District Judge.

Plaintiff, alleging jurisdiction under 18 U.S.C. § 241, 28 U.S.C. § 1343, and 42 U.S.C. § 1983 prays for leave to proceed in forma pauperis. He alleges that Satan has on numerous occasions caused plaintiff misery and unwarranted threats, against the will of the plaintiff, that Satan has placed deliberate obstacles in plaintiff's path and has caused plaintiff's downfall.

Plaintiff alleges that by reason of these acts Satan has deprived him of his constitutional rights.

We feel that the application to file and proceed in forma pauperis must be denied. Even if plaintiff's complaint reveals a prima facie recital of the infringement of the civil rights of a citizen of the United States, the Court has serious doubts that the complaint reveals a cause of action upon which relief can be granted by the court. We question whether plaintiff may obtain personal jurisdiction over the defendant in this judicial district. The complaint contains no allegation of residence in this district. While the official records disclose no case where this defendant has appeared as defendant there is an unofficial account of a trial in New Hampshire where this defendant filed an action of mortgage foreclosure as plaintiff. The defendant in that action was represented by the preeminent advocate of that day, and raised the defense that the plaintiff was a foreign prince with no standing to sue in an American Court. This defense was overcome by overwhelming evidence to the contrary. Whether this would raise an estoppel in the present case we are unable to determine at this time.

If such action were to be allowed we would also face the question of whether it may be maintained as a class action. It appears to meet the requirements of Fed.R. of Civ.P. 23 that the class is so numerous that joinder of all members is impracticable, there are questions of law and fact common to the class, and the claims of the representative party is typical of the claims of the class. We cannot now determine if the representative party will fairly protect the interests of the class.

We note that the plaintiff has failed to include with his complaint the required form of instructions for the United States Marshal for directions as to service of process.

For the foregoing reasons we must exercise our discretion to refuse the prayer of plaintiff to proceed in forma pauperis.

It is ordered that the complaint be given a miscellaneous docket number and leave to proceed in forma pauperis be denied.

Still Reading......

Back in the fall, I started a book called Jonathan Strange & Mr Norrell; I bought it because the subject matter interested me and because I'm a book collector. Having now committed the cardinal sin of actually reading a first edition of what seems destined to become a very valuable book, I cannot say that I'm regretful about it.

I am, after all, gentle on my books, especially when they're as good as this. I've been reading this book for months now, and I'm finding myself wishing I had more time to read it. And yet — my limited reading time hasn't been an impediment; this book is so richly imagined that I'm not, as usual, forgetting things and losing the thread of the story if I don't get back to the book for a few days.

And I don't particularly want this book to end.

I haven't read a book in years that I thought this highly of — not a new one, anyway.

Go, now, buy this novel. You won't regret it.

Read more about it here: www.jonathanstrange.com. The interview is a good one; she actually answers the questions she's asked.